Until then

If no one, understands God does. You need only to believe in Him. He has a better plan for you. Just don't hurt others and be patient. Do your part and He'll do His. It'll be worth it one day or in the end. If eating shitloads of chocolates make you happy, do it. If writing makes you happy and believing in fairy tales far away from the reality, living in them, pretending to be somewhere else makes you happy, do it. If watching something makes you happy do it. If talking to people do it, who are genuinely do it even if they turn out to be just some strangers who'll walk right past you, do it and don't look back. If that is what makes you happy. Don't chase after those who don't make you feel happy or wonderful. Who don't keep you as a priority and second option or don't even remember you. Who don't consider you someone worth your time. It's their loss. Just don't give a bloody shit and just DO IT! You've got this, you always will. Don't let mean people bully you into the angry person you're not. You're kind from within you'll stay the same. It just wasn't meant to be, so create something else, even if it's surreal. That's the best part. Until then...