I am done, LOL

Hypothetical short story written. Inner peace felt. In reality, contrasting essay about layering and artists done, magical realism read. Personal assignment done. Prayer done. Dinner with family done. Sore throat, done. Eternal flu done. Lol. Mirrors position changed. Reflection re some issues done. Hypothetical MUN attended. BD won. Hypothetical breakup done. In reality, headaches have reduced a bit. Miss someone. Eczema is reoccurring. Fat face is appearing. Baby time done. Portraits brainstorming done.  Winter clothes sorted. Started sketching again.
Done with goals. You can take me now, God. Bye, world.

PS. Hahahaha

Sometimes, These Times

Everything seems to fall into pieces. Sometimes you just have to know something to move bon. I've crossed that point so I'm glad. Nothing lasts forever and nobody stays forever too. Moving on is the best and just thing one can do. So here I sit, on my wooden chair. The things we use and those that surround us, they have witnessed so much, right? Even in the quietest of times they have been there, with us, through so much. Whatever our believes might be. With the noise of those cars breaking through the dark of the night. It's quite. The lights on but I'll be turning it off as nothing is serene than soft and murky light at night. I know what I have to do. It's all clear what once was and what is now. I've spent my darlings birthday yesterday. Took him to the film festival on Friday. The movie was quite amazing but he's more amazing. I'd give the stars to him, the whole world in his hands. Anything for his smile. To give way to his timeless laughter. Putting up the little drums and colorful stuff made me happy as it makes him happy. A decade of joy and peace, melting my heart as it beats towards the unknown. All I have to do is have faith and hold on.

Point

I was indeed doing just fine before I met you but well. Well. I am glad I met you regardless. Makes me smile. Lol. Its all good I guess. I'll save the pieces of my hypothetical heartbreak in a hypothetical vase. Until God takes me back and fixes me back. ........ 

The Chainsmokers - Closer | Kabira (ft. Casey Breves) (Vidya Vox Mashup ...

I'M IRREVOCABLY IN LOVE.

Pouring, pouring

Right now I really feel like gulping in shitloads of KitKats and just eating them again and again and again and again. Maybe I'll go on that hypothetical date with my hypothetical boyfriend and sit in a park maybe, look at the stars, just look and inhale that cool air, have KitKats eat some Pizzas and yeah. Just that. And yeah shouting out loud, at my loudest pitch the words 'no' and 'fuck you'. And then crying into the night.
I am truthfully contented with the fact that I'm asociable most of the times and haven't had those so called clichéd childhood friend(s). I can't attach myself to anyone now except some two or three dearies with whom I'm working on my relationship with. I won't go for new cuz eventually I end up getting hurt and my words being lost in the wind like they're worthless. Well they aren't and I don't have the FUCKING time to fret over it or cry after 'friends' for whom I'm just another person in the crowd. Mind you, I don't seek attention because I get all the attention I need from my sweetheart baby and family and my mentors from whom I'm privileged to study. I just need a person to talk to at times. To share stuff i just feel like telling that person. I need cupcakes! Only if I had some 5k or 10k on me right now and I could walk myself to the nearest Gourmet. The moon is red and my temples are squeezing my eyes and head. Sleepies, I need you. To those who are just ghosts for me now, yes, GHOSTS, I don't give a slightest fuck if you don't talk to me. I am perfectly proud to not have you in my life now cuz it's GREAT that I left you or you left me whatever. Thing is, I don't need you or you're not worth talking to now. Maybe someday you'll realize that even if you wanna end things with someone do it on good terms and unsubtly. Fuggers. I am actually smiling right now. I have my baby and God.

The Light

PS. I'm getting there! Yes. Thank God. Alhumdulillah. #allsmiles

As the car drove past the dimly lit road, she wondered what will become if those who had left. Who would never make it back? The moon was lurking high above her, shadowing her house with its inexplicably dissonant red aura. There was a chill I'm the air, this unspoken sadness that prevailed. Downtown Wellington avenue was the last place she wanted to be at that moment. But there seemed no other choice she could have the liberty to choose from... To be continued

Deliberations

I want to write, I love writing. It's not like I'm trying to satisfy myself by writing this but really. I am writing regardless haha. It's just that I feel like something has died inside of me, like it has faded away and blown out of my reach like the dandelions that swiftly drift out of your reach with a sudden gust. I know it's inside of me waiting to be unleashed, the old love, the old flow. I'm missing it ever relentlessly and it's really hard, it is. And it's true, hardest walks of life are walked by yourself. It feels like there's still a speck of that feeling left. It's still wilting but there, waiting for me to rescue it as moments run by. I'm chasing it, struggling to grasp it. Waiting foe it to immerse in my veins and get dissolved like oxygen in blood. There's always still hope. Headaches are just temporary. It's how you fix them. Holding on matters, of course. Glorifying the calm moments as they are spent. Albeit, my head does get fried, not in the frying pan but in the air.

PS. In the end, I don't know, when or how it shall happen but happen it will. I don't know how to give birth to that gift I have. That cosmos entrusted me with. That has died. I do know, I will not fail or give up. I'll be there for myself. Always.

#notanarcissistictalelol