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Slainte.

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By the way, I'm not emotional aka emo globally, so yeah.

Sunday 27 January 2019

No, Not that please

So I just tried to grab DJ from the floor without bending much and jerked off the knee a bit, actually that bit felt like a thousand tsunamis hitting my insides. And now the resonance is unfathomable.. It makes my cry sometimes, near tears not the actual thing. People are going through like so much more right? Pain and all other stuff wise. Not comparing, okay. I need this to be fine soon. Not in the final semester and when I have to get so much stuff done myself. Which I can ask help for but I hate asking someone else for it especially living in social set-ups where asking someone especially if its coming from a female is like being dependent and giving power to some dipshit matriarchy riddled mindset. Okay, this is going to make me enraged so I'll stop here with this. Knee, please pretty knee heal soon. Hahaha.
I have so many pending college essays and I am not finishing them! Someone please write them for me and maybe food down my esophagus too. God. Watching Friends makes it a bit easier and eating lemon tarts. It kinda reminds me of my past/ex-friendships, how I used to give people so much importance when there place should have been under the trash bin, yes, very much. As if I did not know that they knew that I did not know. I planned to take driving lessons and now I can't with this knee, not for another month or two. The doc said this part is just for the outer ligaments. The inner part will come later. *keeps inserting crying and banging into the door emoji* And I think I need to change my phone number. Why do guys take your being nice and courteous as a sign of trying to be more than that, like chrissakes shove your egoism up your back already. Maybe it comes back at me? Well I have not been that bad of a stalker since lots of years now surprisingly. The depressive phase is almost gone albeit I still feel like eating a lot more than I used to. Stomach ins... no NO. NOT that! Please. Close that chapter and that vortex of overthinking-about-the-unpredictable starts knocking at my door. I'm not reading that much. This philosophy book I intend to read three times more so I can understand it, my thick skull well.
It's going to be alright. Gods, backing me up baby. No worries. I should just forget everything and write. Yes, yes that's what I'm going to do and procrastinate of course.