Finals and years end

So I'm trying to break this block. Dan Humphrey has been an inspiration lately. I'll get into a creative writing program someday and it'll be worth the wait. I've these ideas about some short stories. Once I'm done with the friggin finals week, I'll get to that. Got this stop animation to shoot and a board game to make. I'll post this tutorial about premiere so it gets to someone like me who is struggling to figure stuff out cuz of their cognitive ups and downs. Sometimes the best ideas and Eureka comes when you're least expecting it...

Adios.

P.S. keeping a mid-jury on first day of the new year is ethically illegal and enormously outrageous!

Until then

If no one, understands God does. You need only to believe in Him. He has a better plan for you. Just don't hurt others and be patient. Do your part and He'll do His. It'll be worth it one day or in the end. If eating shitloads of chocolates make you happy, do it. If writing makes you happy and believing in fairy tales far away from the reality, living in them, pretending to be somewhere else makes you happy, do it. If watching something makes you happy do it. If talking to people do it, who are genuinely do it even if they turn out to be just some strangers who'll walk right past you, do it and don't look back. If that is what makes you happy. Don't chase after those who don't make you feel happy or wonderful. Who don't keep you as a priority and second option or don't even remember you. Who don't consider you someone worth your time. It's their loss. Just don't give a bloody shit and just DO IT! You've got this, you always will. Don't let mean people bully you into the angry person you're not. You're kind from within you'll stay the same. It just wasn't meant to be, so create something else, even if it's surreal. That's the best part. It's two days until a new year and you're crying like crazy? No worries, it'll pass, let it out. You'll be just fine. Until then...

Who even voted for her? Me. About 150 times.

... 

So... I don't know. Life gets so wooshy at times.. and then you sit and go years back and then.. you maybe still feel somehow something but its a reminisce of what was.. nothings lasts forever... 

Depth^∞

"I should have never let you let me go..."

P.S. I have this retarded crit on Monday and I just don't want to... 

Stuff

So sometimes life takes us on the verge of overwhelmed-ness filled with fear (yes, that exists in my dictionary at times lol). Jury or no jury I really don't feel like doing this project. Today while at it, I relentlessly asked my weary self (feeling pity for yourself is okay at times too- God, I'm SO justifying me self these days, getting overly aggressive and throwing tantrums at anyone- nobody really takes it except mum and buddy and I feel bad) I just CANNOT let these stupid friggin retarded thoughts get the best of me. As someone once said I have to save my head for later shit) so well, I cried so much that my cute little adorable Jaan kitten got disturbed in her sleep and starts biting me haha. I have to push her slightly at times to make her understand that hurting me and anyone else is not okay. Right now I'm staring at this huge 2 inch cut on my left wrist that she gave me two days ago at night. Then one of the reasons while I was talking with Him and I told Him that I don't wanna hurt her and she doesn't die please. She was kinda sleeping while in my blanket and didn't move when I nudged her. I freaked out a bit. Btw the kitten is for all of us, me and my sis and bros. Dad bought it ten days ago. Now, everything is interconnected. I love him so much and can't imagine my life without him but

The night we met

What am I supposed to do
Haunted by the Ghost of you

God! I just love this line from 13 Reasons why's song 'the night we met'. To which Clay and Hannah danced to. It's so beautiful and mystifying. Can't wait for season 2. Albeit the last scene in which they showed the suicide was just so horrific. People who are mean to others and make their lives miserable have no right to rest or laugh. They should pay for what they have done. Nobody deserves to die like Hannah. It's fiction but reality too. This does happen, really. So we need to understand and get to others. They are right in front of us. We just have to be nice and empathetic, friendly and courteous enough to see them. Be there for them and just let them know they have someone they can lean on to for a cry when they need it.

August: The Month of Lion LOL

Why'd I ever come across you?
All those fears came true
There was trouble I knew
Time passed and it all flew
Why'd I ever come across you?
Memories left are not a lot but few
Reminiscing is something I sometimes like to do
It felt like as if you were almost part of my crew
Some truth revealing was I guess long overdue
Why'd I ever come across you?
Too many instances I had to argue
I have to get past it, forget you
It's something I really need to do
What awaits after, I have no clue
Why'd I ever come across you?

Dot.

I think watching Roanoke is going to be boring. Dot. Dot. Dot. It doesn't fit. 

So yeah

There was this day. I didn't remember why I left home alone for the Wapda town-PIA market but now I do. Oh yes. I had to buy some stuff for my second VC project. I was walking on this side road that leads to the roundabout. The road is with medium heightened trees. One can not clearly see from the main road, the view of it. Hardly, some glimpses in between the small trees. It was a hot Summer day.
A car was coming towards me, while I was almost midway through the road. It creeped me at first. The car came near and the man in it kept staring at me while at it. And well, it scared the hell out of me what happened next! The person in it, a middle aged 'man'. He opened his side's mirror and threw a card on the road. Damn. I got afraid what if tried to overcome me. What if he hurt me or something. He was huge and all. Whew. And then his car went past me. Near me. I just knew it in my heart something wasn't okay stall. And then I looked back and he reversed his car and came in my direction again. That was it. My heart was out of my chest. I started walking swiftly towards the pharmacy and checkpoint of a society nearby hoping there'd be some crowd there.  Thank God I was okay and he went away. There were guards nearby and I gathered up my courage and went on about my task. And I came back through that very road again. I am not that scared for a girl of my age nor did it make me reconsider the thought of not going out by myself of I had to do something for me. It just freaked me out. And disgusted me, for men to be cheap and downtrodden like that. I hope I never have this ridiculous and uncanny experience again!
I just wanted to share it, let it out. So yeah.

You

You are to me
As water is to the trees

I'll linger on
Wait centuries for that dawn...

PEESS. SPENCER HAS TWINNNNN. AAAADEEEE. AD was Alex Drake all along. Ohmygawshhh. I am going to miss the liars SOO much! Ezria and Spoby and Emison and Haleb. Super Eight. Perfect fiction couples foreveaaaaah. :'( (Don't usually use these smileys xD) 

I'm alive and well done with the hustle for now

Insane sophomore years over and now holidays are to be conquered but first Ramazan to be cherished what's left of it.

PS. Hello

Baker street boys. Forever.

Life is an array of bombshells. One goes awry the other one starts ticking and explodes when you sit for a moment of rest. College life butchers you, all the same it teaches soo many things, you see inextricably diverse people and learn endlessly from them. People come and people go. Nothing lasts forever. As cliched as it sounds. You keep on living and getting ready for the next battle. But never fail to live in the moment cuz that is the only real tangible thing that shall and can ever exist in this fake and unpredictable world.
I don't know where I'm heading. Collision course, it might as well be. This year, last week CIMUN went pretty perfect. I directed the decor team. Tiredness comes from this but the thrill always overshadows your frailness. Currently, I'm working on this gender identity project and the amount of shocks one get is obviously numberless. I fight to meet my friends, it's almost been more than a year since I have and I feel peculiar. Last night I was in my room, praying and this thought just pounded my head that we are here not to stay and have to leave. How quickly we grow older and as we do the human beings we knew in our lives tend to move on and... It's interesting. Now, I'm in a college bus, listening to Photograph, will post more later. Yesterday, our instructor was stressing upon the gravity of not leaving writing and felt so nostalgic and wee bit sad that I can't push that writer inside me much as of now, I know I will. Soon. Time shall reveal.
Until then.
Adios. Godspeed.

PS. The powercut should've not happened cuz I started watching a movie after ages! We'll see. 13 hours its name was. Alrightish. Although saw it halfway through.

Need Nobody lalala

When your Lord is with you and He loves you. And when your family, your parents give you all the love you need, who else do you need? I don't suppose I do. Saves the knowing thing and trust stuff, because you can never know anyone. There always lingers this thing. Family never gives up on you. Ever. So far when I've needed someone the most, it has been my family. And yeah, my adorable friends. Some few of them have been always there and will be, I know.

Okay

My mum takes this med, it's named Irecon and this just came to my mind haha. I mean no offense to anyone who has blood pressure but yeah it's the Eye re con. Con not being the crime one but reconnaissance. And yeah re is obviously (not obvv hahahaha) regarding. (I wrote being not at first but then English Language of my dear A-levels lol came to my mind, about how we were talking about real English being lost and its roots etcetera being blurred by the slangs we use these days)

I am so happy to know what they have found out about diabetes treatment! Will post about it when I've read the article and fully.

That One Person

I flickered upon writing this post as a result of watching and hearing on repeat Ed Sheeran's Photograph from one of the most romantic movies ever 'Me Before You'. It's a mix. The feelings and then me writing this. Still unaware of my feelings fully haha. I cannot actually believe I'm crying while writing this but its actually true. 'Most of us have that one person in our lives who changes the way we think or encourage us to look outside the box..' and its very much true. Yes I may sound emotionally retarded or whatever or immature but you can't be immature or unsure forever, yes? I don't know but its true and I've known this feeling. No matter how much I deny it. Well, as the movie Me before You has taught me to live boldly, live well and just live. I intend to, come whatever may. If you just live with whatever has happen or may happen, it's alright. We don't have to be afraid of everything in our lives let alone not take risks or do something that make skin skin crawl. Or the least, live with regrets. Life is really short. Just surprise people and let them know how you feel and don't be afraid about what they might say or what they may never say. And move on. Smile.

"You can't change the way people are... you just love them" 

Love is indeed a very mystical and mysteriously tricky, heartbreaking, silly, funny and lively experience. 

And then what's more heartbreaking (I've no idea why I'm overly using this word haha) is this song from this adorably painfully heart-throbbing song, one the best after Ed Sheeran's 

The song has a beautiful orchestration. That amazing voive just before the track moves onto the chorus. With its soft and melodic warm tones and upbeat thingy from 1:29. It just make your heart skips a beat and as you move forward you just can't hold those tears back. The lyrics are so touche and its just... Its a song about enduring. A song about letting go while you're still hurting. A song about holding on and loving with no bounds. That love is rare. Rare. RARE. You don't have to be with the person you love, to love them or love them more. Or stop loving them. Mind me, though, I'm no love expert. No one is. It just happens. And you have no control over it. If you do control it, you will wither, trust me. And then at 3:19 the beat reaches its highest. Its just truly melting and softly hurts. It synchronizes perfectly with how you feel. True to the feeling its written about. I am definitely doing a cover for this, maybe I'll upload this on my instagram account: mishaaltariq12 

Check it out, when of course its there lol. I am not writing this post anymore. I'll go crazy. There's just so much going on my mind. And then there's Pretty Little Liars ending this year. And Nolan and Emms came in my dreams. I miss you both so much too! They ended Revenge too soon. Too soon :( And my grandmother. I don't live with my grandparents anymore so I miss her so much, my grandma, she came into my last night so I called her up today. I just love the people in my life, unconditionally and truly and forever. Until then: Live Boldly, Live Well and Just Live. 

I'm sharing the lyrics here, they're too beautiful to not share. Every word. Every. Word. 

Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
And time's forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone, wait for me to come home

Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul
And it's the only thing that I know, know
I swear it will get easier,
Remember that with every piece of you
Hm, and it's the only thing we take with us when we die

Hm, we keep this love in this photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts were never broken
And time's forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone

And if you hurt me
That's okay baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go
Wait for me to come home
Wait for me to come home
Wait for me to come home
Wait for me to come home

You can fit me
Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen
Next to your heartbeat where I should be
Keep it deep within your soul

And if you hurt me
Well, that's okay baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go

When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost back on Sixth street
Hearing you whisper through the phone,
"Wait for me to come home."  

We shall go

I know I should've not taken the aspirin with hot milk but I did and now theres a twingy feeling near my chest. Hah! We should take care of this body God has given us and not persecute the soul, the heart and the body of course. Its His to return. I am feeling kinda teary because I miss my besties from Highschool. I am so glad I have two in my class and I'll develop a more stronger bond with them hopefully, soon. It takes time. I'm old but yeah. Lol. It felt good reading Will Grayson in the bus in the morning. Crossing the roads is such a task though. Its like I have to pass through the crossroads to get to the place where my college bus stops. There's sunlight flooding the place, lots of dust and amazing noise. Whoa. Where was I? Oh yeah, so gradually and eventually you get along with someone, and in my case I can take months or whatever, years (haven't stayed with someone that long) to know someone and when they go, it used to be somewhat bleak, now that word is almost outta my dictionary YAY. I'm so proud of myself here. Although sometimes, I do go through that natural phase, but I move past swiftly now. Learning learning. Oh yes. Learning. And WILL. Will never leave. (Please, don't- See what I did here? xD) Haha. So yeah. I'd a car, I'd met my folks everyday and hangout with them or at least meet them once in a month, I haven't broken up with them God forbids but see, this kinda draws people away too and I am not that person who does that, I know everyone is busy and all so.. I have faith after all.
Wherever the road takes us
We shall go
Without asking anything
We will flow
Along this path
Never giving up
And never running slow
It's a phase
Cannot feel low
Where ever the road takes us
We shall go

YES I WROTE POETRY (Even if it doesn't fall into the category) after so long... 

Yes, i do

So idk but hopefully I'll be breaking formally my writer's block with a synopsis. The calm! Returning back to my normal self after first two intensely insane college weeks. Projects and workshops, assignments, research and debating and social and personal and blogger and photographic and movie and series and thinking life huhhhhhh lol. Give my self braaaake. Your life is indeed a speck of dust in this universe.
I really loved the first day of typographic workshop from a diligent and intuitively amazing teacher from Isbd campus.
Started reading about Zack Synder (maybe it's Snyder?) Anyway yah. Messed up my PR interview pretty hilariously yesterday morning daymn. Haha. Don't care much. Headache is going away. Cough here to stay for some time. (Rhyming inspired by the fiery sis :P)
So yeah. Bring it awn. I shall teach you. What's it like to mess with me. I'll pass this God's test iA. With all my heart (I swear I feel like I get angina at times -God forbids) but of course my face has gotten fat cuz I took boatloads of cupcake and chocolate for the past few months. I'll do it. Adios.

All

I'm leaving it all
Don't need to stall
Don't care whatever falls
Whoever calls
I'm leaving it all

PS. Trynna catch up, I really am. The race gets irrevocably intense. Dot dot dot.

Sketchpad, Faith and Battles

All they found on her was a sketchpad, her sunglasses, rings, mobile phone and tissues.

PS. Idk but there's a recent surge of terrorism, news all day keeps blurting about it. Politicians keep talking but still there's such a long way to go. I don't feel scared or afraid of the terror the inhuman and they're-not-even-worth-calling-this (so-called extremists) want to spread, though, it does feel insecure going on buses, in supermarkets, never knowing what could happen. Of course we don't, but there's a certain entailment of these thoughts in the subconscious which creates somewhat restlessness. Life is very much unpredictable. All we can do is let go of everything and live in the moment. And. Have Faith. Believe that He's always protecting us.

PSS. Newzealandia! Just read about it the other day. Prospective eighth continent! Whoaa. So riveting.

PSSS. Pluto hot kicked off the list of planets some years ago! How strikening and peculiar. I'll post more later and soon.

Until then, Godspeed and may the odds be ever in everyone's favor. Well of course except the crazy killers and murderers (terrorists). And may our Army win the battle against them, swipe them from every inch of this amazing nation.
Pakistan. Always.
Pakistan Zindabaad.
Pakistan Paindabaad.

Pun Tales

Terminal illness: Albeit I should not be making fun of it and I mean no hurt whatsoever. Here goes anyway: the illness that a terminal gets when there's too much traffic or snowy days..

Sandwiched

Who is Mishaal Tariq?

Penchants

Firstly, I'd say I honestly don't know the meaning of this word. I'll mweb (this has to be a word as Merriam Webster is a really nice and amazing dictionary. I personally prefer it, it's easy to use and a lot of things on one place. Plus you get to learn a nice word every day, not that I don't know most of the words they publish daily but yeah. And they have these productive vocabulary building games which makes your time worth spending on them, okay I'll leave this here as this might become a post about Merriam Webster and vocab rather than of ranting my thoughts here lolz) I mean I did, however such a busy mind doesn't really tends to anchor along all of the words that it comes across/ things that drift along deep into the uncharted waters and depths. So yeah. I'm almost done with half of Bastard of Istanbul. Winter break is going smoothly albeit the little twitching pain in my spine and neck is kinda annoying, I'll get it checked soon to rule out any apparent Mets. God forbid and forgive my sinful soul. I am practising this peaceful place technique that my therapist taught me recently and it's really good. You feel so light and empowered after it! At times I can't resist the temptation and urge to talk with people I used to converse with occasionally. Life turns out to blatantly unpredictable obviously albeit you need to sort out stuff while you're at it. Bit I know this, with all the clarity I have infused within my mind that I need not change myself or like something or do something that someone else is doing or likes just to make them like me or come towards me. I am fine in my skin. Be it that I do my even know half of the stuff they do. I mean life is not just about thinking about this stuff right! I'll just pray and have faith and focus. I mean am I going to talk or w.e after getting into my grave lol. It doesn't matter. I shall always have my baby, mum and why of course, God to talk with. I just... Wow. Times reveals so much. And it's very much heartbreaking but equally strengthening. I wore a lehnga (a traditional Pakistani dress, that is skirt oriented with a short or knee length shirt). I loved wearing it! Yes, I love dressing up and putting up eyeshades a d just lip color that's it. No other stuff really. Some eyeliner, mascara, a bit o hair styling and I'm done. Of course, jewellery (not gold! I don't prefer gold but silver and small pendant type stuff, suits me and I don't even care about the price or where I get it from as long as the design caters to my needs,is simple yet powerful and alluring to me- bonus points if it has a infinity sign. Lol)
It was almost turquoise in its shade, yeah the dress, (God, I love pronouncing and reading this word!) Adorable right? Not me, blala. The word! xp Anyways, yeah. And it had a golden glittered net shirt with tissue like stuff's golden ribbon hemmed sleeves.
I just was thinking how my writer's block is getting dragged but then again, I AM writing so it's not really the case. Just swim with the flow, I will and am. So many things to do but they'll happen when they have to, if they're meant to and if they're not, fair enough. I'll be okay with it nonetheless.

Love,
The lost soul

PS. I'll post the images soon. My phone doesn't upload the photographs here idk why. :P

Tune in folks!

Some new beautiful tracks:

Not Today- Imagine Dragons
Losing You- Solange
Closer- The Chainsmokers
Skipping Stones-
Secret- The Pierces
We don't talk anymore- Charlie Puth

PS. I'll update this soon, after my finals. Until then, Godspeed! Stay positive. Believe in the unseen. Hold on. Never let go. Believe in yourself. Everything works out eventually. No need to worry. Love always.

I CANNOTTTTT BELIEVE SHERLOCK STARTED AND EVEN ENDEDDDDDDDDDDD OHMYYYYYYYYYGAWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

NLG

One of the most riveting things for me to do this year would be is to start writing again! Oh yes! I will iA I WILL. #NeverLetGo 

PS. Ihni why I labelled this as news too xp